Name is Kaileina (as most of you should already know), I'm not really good at this but I will try and explain myself as the best I can. Lets start in high school..
I attended DeKalb High School which I thought was a good school.. (who am I kidding)
Was a band geek... BG4L whoop whoop!!
All through high school I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life..
the best thing I thought would be good for me was join the military *ARMY* to be exact..
since I was a young one I had to wait until my senior year to take the ASVAB.
I went with my recruiter and took it.. and to be what I wanted to be which was an MP I had to score pretty well
knowing me y'all are prolly laughing cuz you guessed it.. I didn't pass
crushed me badly as a person I thought my life was over NOW what was I going to do with my life cuz joining the military was everything I had inside me at that age.. as my mom once told me.. I think I lost who I was at that point and thought I had lost my drive that I had burning in me.. something I will never admit but written on my face when I talk about it.. kinda glad this is a blog and not being told in real life..
fast forward..
Graduated in 2007, I was only 17 yrs old.. I ran out the doors excited to FINALLY be done with school!
only to find out that I sure in the world didn't want to be out in the real world either
couple of days after I graduated I fell in what I thought was in love with a guy... NOT!!
Later, was thinking about getting back to retaking the ASVAB, cuz if you fail you have to wait 6 months to try again..
turned the fun legal age of 18 in August and moved into an apartment with my sister the end of January 2008.
thought I was free and could do what I pleased.. well I was totally wrong...
Got into some trouble, and did some things I'm not proud of.. (yes, I know your prolly all thinking your a mother, you shouldn't post about the bad things you did as a stupid teenager.. well bite me if my children read this I don't want to lie to them about me and hopefully they will see how I wanted my life to go but I was stupid and messed it up so I guess this is kinda a "hey kids don't follow into mommys footsteps cuz I messed up..bad")
But, anywho.. ya back on track.
Met a guy and shortly after dating.. like eehh 2 weeks got pregnant.. I was 19 yrs old
I took three THREE pregnancy tests cuz I thought they would be wrong but that should be a happy moment in my life.. well I'm not gonna lie I was a nervous wreck.. scared and thought I had a human being growing inside me and I had to clean my act up to make sure this little baby was not gonna suffer from my stupid actions..
got clean, quit smoking cigs, and quit drinking..
I wasn't sure what to think about the me having a baby thing but I made the best of it, after calling the doctor and having scheduled an appointment I was starting to get a little excited.
The first time I heard the heart beat.. and seen a little (kidney bean shape) human on the screen I knew what love was, I cried.
months flew by and was time to find out what I was having. All this time I was praying for a little boy, most woman want a girl for some reason I really wanted a boy.. went into the ultrasound room and was shaking in excitement to see what my future had laid out in front of me.
Ultrasound tech asked if we wanted it to be a surprise or if I wanted to know I looked and her like "uh duh I want to know crazy lady" she moved the little thing around and she said "well looks like a boy"
**GREATEST MOMENT* of my ENTIRE life.. (at that time)
My due date was January 22, 2010 didn't think I mentioned that earlier
I'm going to apoligize now for all the ".." I have been doing them for years and it's a hard habit to break..
OK, sorry :) my due date came...... and it went..
UGH i was over being pregnant not that I had a rough one but I wanted to meet the little boy that was having a kick boxing competition in my belly.
the doc planned to induce me the morning of January 28, 2010 which was a Thursday..
went in the morning to have the "kick start labor" medicine injected in my arm I know what it's called just not gonna fight to figure out how to spell it.. hehe
contractions started off really intense and I was in pain.. I chickened out and got the epidural
started to push about 5:20 pm and after having him banging his head on my pelvic bone for 45 mins(he was stuck) I finally gathered what strength I had left inside me to push as hard as I could to bring my baby into this world.
6:26 pm Drayton Michael made his entrance screaming his head off.
he was placed on my chest and at that moment I knew I FINALLY knew why my plan to join the military didn't work out in my favor. The love that you feel for such a small baby you literally JUST met is something I can't explain. something I will never forget.
9lbs 15oz 21 1/2 in he was beautiful big blue eyes a head full of jet black hair and black hair covered his body.. I couldn't keep my eyes off him.
learning to be a new mother was a whole new thing to me and was very scary but knew he deserved the world and beyond. It put a lot of stress on his dad and I. October 1 2010 I moved back in with my mom got a job and saved my money to buy a place to call home for Drayton and I.
the end of June 2011 I had saved enough money and had bought everything I needed to move into our house!!
I was very proud of myself for doing it all on my own. I felt like we were finally in a good place and I loved having a place Drayton could call home..
Got into some trouble, and did some things I'm not proud of.. (yes, I know your prolly all thinking your a mother, you shouldn't post about the bad things you did as a stupid teenager.. well bite me if my children read this I don't want to lie to them about me and hopefully they will see how I wanted my life to go but I was stupid and messed it up so I guess this is kinda a "hey kids don't follow into mommys footsteps cuz I messed up..bad")
But, anywho.. ya back on track.
Met a guy and shortly after dating.. like eehh 2 weeks got pregnant.. I was 19 yrs old
I took three THREE pregnancy tests cuz I thought they would be wrong but that should be a happy moment in my life.. well I'm not gonna lie I was a nervous wreck.. scared and thought I had a human being growing inside me and I had to clean my act up to make sure this little baby was not gonna suffer from my stupid actions..
got clean, quit smoking cigs, and quit drinking..
I wasn't sure what to think about the me having a baby thing but I made the best of it, after calling the doctor and having scheduled an appointment I was starting to get a little excited.
The first time I heard the heart beat.. and seen a little (kidney bean shape) human on the screen I knew what love was, I cried.
months flew by and was time to find out what I was having. All this time I was praying for a little boy, most woman want a girl for some reason I really wanted a boy.. went into the ultrasound room and was shaking in excitement to see what my future had laid out in front of me.
Ultrasound tech asked if we wanted it to be a surprise or if I wanted to know I looked and her like "uh duh I want to know crazy lady" she moved the little thing around and she said "well looks like a boy"
**GREATEST MOMENT* of my ENTIRE life.. (at that time)
My due date was January 22, 2010 didn't think I mentioned that earlier
I'm going to apoligize now for all the ".." I have been doing them for years and it's a hard habit to break..
OK, sorry :) my due date came...... and it went..
UGH i was over being pregnant not that I had a rough one but I wanted to meet the little boy that was having a kick boxing competition in my belly.
the doc planned to induce me the morning of January 28, 2010 which was a Thursday..
went in the morning to have the "kick start labor" medicine injected in my arm I know what it's called just not gonna fight to figure out how to spell it.. hehe
contractions started off really intense and I was in pain.. I chickened out and got the epidural
started to push about 5:20 pm and after having him banging his head on my pelvic bone for 45 mins(he was stuck) I finally gathered what strength I had left inside me to push as hard as I could to bring my baby into this world.
6:26 pm Drayton Michael made his entrance screaming his head off.
he was placed on my chest and at that moment I knew I FINALLY knew why my plan to join the military didn't work out in my favor. The love that you feel for such a small baby you literally JUST met is something I can't explain. something I will never forget.
9lbs 15oz 21 1/2 in he was beautiful big blue eyes a head full of jet black hair and black hair covered his body.. I couldn't keep my eyes off him.
learning to be a new mother was a whole new thing to me and was very scary but knew he deserved the world and beyond. It put a lot of stress on his dad and I. October 1 2010 I moved back in with my mom got a job and saved my money to buy a place to call home for Drayton and I.
the end of June 2011 I had saved enough money and had bought everything I needed to move into our house!!
I was very proud of myself for doing it all on my own. I felt like we were finally in a good place and I loved having a place Drayton could call home..
No comments:
Post a Comment